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"I'm about to be a baby. My teeth are going to fall out in five days, and then I'll be a baby."
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"Green crickets eat people and snakes and ants. They're really strong."
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"I'm going to eat a lot of food and get strong and be big so I can get Beyblades."
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"When you grow a lot of flowers, that means it's almost Easter. It's almost Easter, Mommy!"
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We were driving to school and he was sucking his finger, so I told him to hand me Stinky Dog (he only sucks his finger when he's holding Stinky Dog). Instead of handing him to me, he's farting around and drops him. Then, of course, he flips out because Stinky Dog is on the floor and demands that I pick him up.
Me: I can't pick him up, I need to concentrate on driving. If I don't concentrate, we might get into an accident, and you don't want that, do you?
Alex: Yeah, I do.
Me: Excuse me? Do you know what an accident is? That's when cars crash and they get hurt, and people get hurt - they can even die.
Alex: That's okay.
Me: Do you know what is means to die?
Alex: Yeah, it means you're dead and gone forever. But if people die, then there are less cars. Cars are killing the Earth and then there won't be any Earth. It'll be dead and gone forever.
So I proceeded to explain carpooling to him, and we talked about other way to reduce pollution that didn't involve people dying!
I'll just send your early enrollment form to Greenpeace, Alex...
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